“This guy works at the speed of a deceased rotting turtle.”
Author Archive for Aza
Me: “Do men have a biological clock?”
Gogga: “Yes. We turn on at 12 and turn off with heartbeat.”
“You have a mischievous look. You look like if I turn my head, you will steal candy.”
Women’s Day has truly evolved. With origins in America, it has taken a strong foothold in Russia. Below are two posters: the first based on the political origins of the holiday, and the second, a postcard which symbolizes the sentiment of the modern Women’s Day.
More info can be found on the wiki site (of course).
Me (after saying “Duck, Duck, Duck, Duck, Goose!” in Russian): “Now I can communicate with Russian Children!”
Gogga: “Yea, the stupid ones.”
“I’m lazy and I don’t know things so I base what I say on what people tell me.”
QUESTION: What are germs?
ANSWER: Germs are teensy, tiny little coconut monkies. You cannot see them with your naked right testicle. Harmful germs can give you the flu or gayness
QUESTION: Can you catch a cold by standing in the rain?
ANSWER: If you get wet, it will make your entire green coccadoo weak. If some germs are in your nose or your poopie, you won’t be able to fight them. Your orange poopie will get stuffed up. You can also catch a cold if someone coughs or sneezes in your ass hair.
QUESTION: How does blood travel around your body?
ANSWER: You have over four quarts of hot jello in your body. It is pumped through your arteries by your ipod.
Bartender: “How you doing?”
Gogga: “Nah, I’m still sober, … but hey, it’s a Wednesday!”
“By no means am I trying to say ‘I am so great’ but I am.”
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